


The Matchmaker's Boss: Sadist

by april_zephyr (April_Zephyr)



Series: Matchmaker In Love [3]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Crack, Derek and Stiles are Dorks, Don't take me too seriously, I Don't Even Know, I just really wanted to not have this story go to waste, M/M, Matchmaker Stiles, Matchmaking, Stiles needs alone time, The Hales are crazy, This is crazy, What Have I Done, What Was I Thinking?, sexually frustrated Derek, sexually frustrated Stiles, stiles and derek are dating
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-14
Updated: 2014-11-14
Packaged: 2018-02-25 07:54:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,104
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2614151
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/April_Zephyr/pseuds/april_zephyr
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It had been a few months since Derek and Stiles had finally gone to their first official date, it hadn’t gone exactly to plan considering the fact that the date had ended with Stiles’ sporting a nasty bruise on his forehead and the couple getting kicked out of the establishment. So here Stiles was, sitting calmly beside Derek as he parked his Camaro. Derek turned to look at Stiles, whose mouth happen to be stretched widely open during the middle of a yawn, Derek smiled slightly as he turned Stiles’s to face him.<br/>“Nope. Be a good boy Derek. We’ve lasted a whole week, we can last a little longer.” Stiles warned, as Derek pressed him further into the car door.</p><p>“Stiles. My uncle has deprived us of a whole week of sex.” Derek stated.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Matchmaker's Boss: Sadist

**Author's Note:**

> I really wanted to add to the "Matchmaker in Love" series. This is absolute crack and I have no idea what I was thinking when I wrote it

** Chapter 1 **

It had been a few months since Derek and Stiles had finally gone to their first official date, it hadn’t gone exactly to plan considering the fact that the date had ended with Stiles’ sporting a nasty bruise on his forehead and the couple getting kicked out of the establishment. So here Stiles was, sitting calmly beside Derek as he parked his Camaro. Derek turned to look at Stiles, whose mouth happen to be stretched widely open during the middle of a yawn, Derek smiled slightly as he turned Stiles’s to face him.  
“Nope. Be a good boy Derek. We’ve lasted a whole week, we can last a little longer.” Stiles warned, as Derek pressed him further into the car door.

“Stiles. My uncle has deprived us of a whole week of sex.” Derek stated.

“We can’t have sex in here, it’s tiny and we sure as hell will experience back issues if we do this in here. It would have made more sense if we had taken the jeep.”

“We’re having sex in the Camaro because I like my car and the windows are tinted.”

“You’re so stubborn.” Stiles sighed.

“You like it.” Derek laughed, taking advantage of the situation by pressing Stiles into a deep kiss. He wanted to get as close to Stiles as he could get so he pushed against the steering wheel and in the process accidentally elbowed the horn. Stiles started to laugh and shake uncontrollably as Derek continued to try to keep the mood going by nibbling on his neck.

“Jesus! This is really freaking uncomfortable.” Stiles laughed. When Stiles had finally managed to control his laughter, Derek continued to kiss and bite every part of exposed skin he could get to. As soon as Derek started to unbutton Stiles’ shirt, the car door was harshly opened. Leading to Stiles and Derek ending up sprawled together on the floor.

“I was getting really lonely up there.” Peter smiled, noticing the deathly glares he was receiving from his nephew and employee.

“What the fuck dude? You don’t open doors on people.” Stiles hissed, as he and Derek both shuffled to their feet.

“Really? I thought I was being quite courteous.” Peter grinned, “You wouldn’t want me to call your father and complain about how the two of you were being publicly indecent.”

“We weren’t doing anything.” Stiles argued. Because what kind of adult would want his father to know that he was getting it on in a car with his boyfriend.

“I apologise, my nephew having his tongue down your throat and you being practically topless is not publicly indecent at all.”

“Not cool.”

“Well anyway, there was a reason why I came here to get you.”

“Just get to it before Derek kills you. I swear he’s just one string away from ripping your throat out.”

“Well, this lovely lady popped by your apartment and attacked me. She said that I was the reason you cancelled your date with her.”

“Oh God. Lydia’s going to kill me!” Stiles whined, “What did she say?”

“She was a feisty one. Your friend threatened me more than she threatened you.” Peter sighed, it was a pretty horrific experience for the adult.

“Lydia thinks you’re Derek.” Stiles laughed, “That’s what you get for staying at my apartment.”

“Next time you see her can you please tell her that it’s rude to call someone an old fart.” Peter frowned, the young girl had offended him with that statement.

“I can’t exactly reprimand her for saying the truth.” Stiles teased, “But seriously. When are you moving out? Don’t you think I’ve had enough torture? I mean the image of you being naked had been imbedded into my mind and it disgusts me because whenever I see you because I just see the naked version of you.”

“Stiles.” Derek growled, “It’s never really good to hear that your boyfriend has the image of your naked uncle imprinted in his mind.”

“Why are you Hales so possessive? It’s not like I’m jerking off to the thought of your naked uncle.” Stiles snorted, “It isn’t really attractive image. I mean he was plowing into Mr Argent.”

“You walked in on my uncle having sex with his boyfriend?” Derek groaned.

“Yeah. I just opened the house door and then BAM there they are, playing hide the salami.” Stiles shuddered, “They’re treating my house like a love shack Derek. They had sex on my COUCH. I eat Cheetos and watch tv shows on that thing.”

“Are you saying that we could have had sex this week?” Derek asked slowly.

“Where the hell did you get that from?” Stiles groaned, he had no idea how the Hale mind-frame worked. They were clearly sex addicts.

“You could have come to my apartment anytime during this week.” Derek stated, it appeared as if the autumn eyed male had just had an epiphany.

“Oh hell no.” Stiles moaned, “Why did I agree to get dragged into this crazy spiral of madness? Damn you Hales and your ridiculously attractiveness.”

“I know you love me.” Derek smirked, pressing a kiss on Stiles’ cheek.

“And you clearly love me too.” Peter grinned, earning a one fingered salute from the young adult.

“As much as I don’t hate you guys… I need to kick the two of you out today.” Stiles frowned.

“What? Why?” Derek questioned angrily.

“I really think I need the rest of the day to myself.” Stiles declared, “This is just beyond crazy. And Peter, please find another place to stay for the night.”

“I’ll call you tomorrow.” Derek sighed, pressing a kiss against the other male’s lips before turning to leave.

“I’m going to stay with Derek as you so kindly kicked me out.” Peter stated sarcastically, following his nephew.

The rest of the night was pretty damn relaxing, Stiles didn’t even realise how much he had missed having time for himself until now. The young adult was enjoying a marathon of Netflix movies with a side of curly fries. At least the male could enjoy himself for this one night before he was thrown back into utter chaos. He had a feeling that he should have at least a day to himself every so often.  
“Peter?” A voice questioned, entering the house. Stiles had never wanted to murder another human being so much, he glared at Chris Argent with as much malice he could muster.

“Chris. Get out.” Stiles growled, “Your boyfriend is spending the night at his nephew’s place.”

“Goodnight Stiles.” Chris sighed, closing the door.

“Finally. Peace.” Stiles grinned, continuing to watch the movie in peace.

**FIN**


End file.
